Out with the Old, In with the New

After years of speculation and begging, it appears that Ghostbusters 3 is officially going to happen. Yes! Being a big fan of the franchise, I was elated to hear this news, but then my elation quickly deflated, and here's why.

According to Harold Ramis, the movie won't be focused around the original team. "We're going to be the sage mentors. There are going to be young Ghostbusters."

What? You're taking everything that worked so amazingly well in the original (and decently ok in the second) and abandoning it to "pass the torch" to a young, hip, new set of Ghostbusters? For shame.

The original script for the third flick is now being used for a Ghostbusters video game adaptation, and I'd be willing to bet that will be more interesting than the movie, which is depressing.

The new script is being written Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky, who better exceed any expectations and deliver a masterpiece, or else my years of wanting a new flick will seem like a complete waste. Look for Ghostbusters 3 in 2010.

Bruno Bitch Slapped with an NC-17

Sacha Baron Cohen's upcoming film, Bruno, has been given an NC-17 by the MPAA, effectively limiting artistic creativity and banning the film from being released (most theaters do not screen NC-17 films). Besides, Cohen has a contract to deliver an R rated film for Universal, but what does this mean? It means cuts aplenty and an inevitable Unrated DVD release sometime in the future.

So what was the reason for the rating? According to Sharon Waxman over at The Wrap, Bruno appears to have anal sex with a man on camera and in another scene he sneaks naked into a hunter's tent, a non-actor who had no idea what was going on.

Gay anal sex and a naked seduction of a heterosexual redneck hunter? Sounds like a good time to me.

Cohen's last film, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan was absolutely brilliant and is among my favorite comedies of all time. Here's hoping he can hit that same level with Bruno.

The Expendables Release Date

After a brief scare that Sylvester Stallone's star packed, testosterone fueled extravaganza of manliness, The Expendables, had lost some of its awesome due to rapper 50 Cent being cast (which was thankfully rectified through his replacement by Terry Crews), it looks as if the film is finally getting a release date.

So when can we expect this heavenly slice of kick ass? Lionsgate has set a release date for April 23, 2010.

That's a long time to wait for what could be a mind explosion of pure action. In the meantime, check out the poster for Sly Stallone's last crazy awesome action movie, Rambo. You're welcome.

The Three Stooges Resurrected

It's true. The Three Stooges are being brought back to life thanks to MGM and the Farrelly brothers, the comedic talent behind Dumb and Dumber and There's Something About Mary.

So who is set to star? Well, Jim Carrey (who is a perfect fit for this type of role) will play Curly, Sean Penn will play Larry and Benicio Del Toro will play Moe. Now, I can understand Sean Penn. That guy is immensely talented and can pull off nearly anything he does. Coming off of his award winning role in Milk, this would be an interesting departure and I can't wait to see how it shapes up.

But Benicio Del Toro? Really? When I think of the Three Stooges, the last person I think of is Del Toro. I don't want to undermine his talent, but methinks it would be wise to recast his role.

No release date is set as yet.

Transformers 3 Release Date

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen hasn't even been released yet and Paramount is already giving the next installment a release date.

However, it seems that Paramount and the man behind the robots, Michael Bay, aren't communicating well. Paramount has slated the third flick to be released on July 1st, 2011. After this news, Bay said on his website that he agreed to a July 1st, 2012 release, not 2011. After all, he's probably going to need a break after the newest movie is released. Creating movies with all action and no coherent or interesting plot must be tiresome.

The original Transformers movie was extremely overrated by the public. I don't know a single guy between 13 and 30 that didn't enjoy this movie besides me. Michael Bay is a master at creating riveting action scenes (although most go on for way too long), but everything in between is usually garbage. Plus, if Pearl Harbor is any indication, he can't direct his actors either. Ben Affleck's performance in that movie is probably one of the worst I've seen this decade.

Regardless, the Transformers 2 trailer looks amazing, so here's hoping for the best. If it's as overrated as the original, my interest in this franchise will be dead.

Mission: Impossible 4 On the Way?

What do you do when the world hates your personality because you act like an idiot, jump on couches on national television and look like a complete dork? Apparently, you fall back on the only truly successful franchise you've ever been a part of.

Tom Cruise was recently on a popular Japanese television program named SMAP SMAP (what?) and mentioned that work had begun on a fourth installment in the Mission: Impossible franchise.

Personally, I love Tom Cruise. Yes, he's a total kook, but who cares? I'm a movie lover and as long as he keeps giving good performances, I could care less about his personal life. Granted, not all of his performances are good, like in the poor WWII film, Valkyrie, but I've enjoyed his body of work more than not. And this franchise is awesome. If this is true, we'll be swimming in Mission: Impossible 4 goodness before we know it.

It Remake on the Way

I'm a big fan of Stephen King. I don't read too many novels, but when I do, they are almost always written by him. The man knows how to write a story. Even the film adaptations of his stories are pretty good. Although some suck, (Dreamcatcher anyone?) some are very good, such as 1408, The Shining, or The Green Mile.

One adaptation I haven't seen is Stephen King's It, partly because it was a made for TV movie which I tend to avoid like the plague. The other reason being that I haven't read the book because it reaches upwards to more than 1,000 pages, which I simply don't have time to read.

Luckily, It will be getting the proper theatrical treatment thanks to Warner Bros., who is pushing forward for a release sometime in the future. Dave Kajganich, whose sole other writing credit is for The Invasion, is penning the script.

Here's hoping the film can bring back that fear of clowns I used to have when I was a child.

Fantastic Four Starting Over

JoBlo.com is reporting that Fox is planning on rebooting the Fantastic Four franchise after two critically loathed installments.

Despite the popularity of the source material and the big name stars in the films (Jessica Alba, Chris Evans), Fox feels the need to dump everything about the previous entries and start anew with a new cast, new director, new story, and pretty much everything else.

According to JoBlo, they hope to make it more in line with the recent successes of pictures like Iron Man and The Dark Knight.

Personally, I didn't think the first two movies were all that bad. They weren't great, but I enjoyed them on a very basic level. I don't really know how to feel about a reboot because I don't feel it is needed. However, the recent Incredible Hulk reboot was leaps and bounds above Ang Lee's Hulk atrocity, so who knows? Maybe a reboot could put some life into the franchise.

Marmaduke? Really?

You know, as a child, I used to pick up the paper every day to read the comic strips. I've always enjoyed the daily dose of quick humor you can get from a simple three panel cartoon. I read nearly every one on the page, except for one called Marmaduke. It was never funny or clever and I hated it with every ounce of my being. I mean, just look at that comic strip to the right. If you think that's funny, I feel sorry for you.

So why, do tell, is JoBlo reporting that Fox is developing a feature length film based off of the comic strip? Did we learn nothing from the Garfield films? Is this what we get for having one decent movie about a dog (Marley & Me), that we get subjected to stuff like this? Where will it end? I swear to God, these companies have no shame.

Apparently nothing is known yet about the project, like whether it will be animated or live action, but let's just hope this one dies before it ever gets off the ground.

Nightmare on Elm Street Release Date

Well, it looks like Platinum Dunes is pulling no punches when it comes to remaking classic horror franchises. After the successful Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th remakes, their next venture comes in the form of a badly scarred dead man with a disturbing fascination with children. Platinum Dunes has given the Nightmare on Elm Street remake a release date of April 6th, 2010.

With their record breaking Friday the 13th remake, it's no surprise that they want to get this next horror project off the ground quickly. In fact, production will begin next month, although little is known about the project at this point. Will it be a straight remake like The Omen or a reimagining like Halloween? Who will star as Freddy Krueger? Who will get diced up by him?

The only known fact is that Samuel Bayer, best known for shooting music videos (like this Nirvana classic), will direct the film. So like it or not, another classic film is being remade and will be upon us before you know it. Look for Nightmare on Elm Street next year.

Friday the 13th Part 2 (13?) On Its Way

Due to the overwhelming success of the new Friday the 13th picture, which broke the record for highest opening for a horror movie ever banking $42.2 million in only three days, it looks like we'll be getting another entry in the venerable franchise, with the sequel landing a tentative August 13, 2010 release date.

I guess the fact that it broke another record, this one not so impressive, by making the largest drop in numbers for a horror movie in its second week losing 81% of its audience is, at this point, a technicality. It made bank, more than what the film cost, so why not greenlight another one?

I personally dug the reboot, seeing as how I'm a huge Friday the 13th fan. There's just something about that lovable oaf, Jason, that just makes me happy and I'm pretty excited about the sequel.

The writers of the film, Damian Shannon and Mark Swift, are returning to pen the script to the sequel, which will probably follow something along these lines:

Teenagers head to Camp Crystal Lake.

They have sex.

They drink alcohol.

They smoke pot.

They get mutilated by Jason.

Credits.

Can't wait!

Total Recall Remake? Noooo!

Blasphemy, I say! I've become accustomed to the current onslaught of remakes pumped out by the officially-out-of-ideas think machine that used to be Hollywood. But this is pushing it too far.

Total Recall, the classic Arnold Schwarzenegger action flick is being remade, much to my disdain, although apparently the minds behind the project are going to take the story in a different direction while keeping the title, which is Hollywood code for "we're banking the success of this film on the title."

Total Recall is hands down one of the best action movies ever made, a true action classic that I've cherished ever sense I was a small child and saw that chick with three boobs. Why not just re-release it into theatres? I know tons of people who would love to see this masterpiece on the big screen, including myself.

I can deal with Asian horror remakes (although they should just release the Asian horror flick in the states if it's so good) and I can deal with remakes of films from way back in the day made simply to expose the film to a new crowd, such as House on Haunted Hill (although the original 1959 Vincent Price classic is infinitely better than the crappy 1999 remake). But why remake a film that was made less than 20 years ago, a film that still holds up today? What is our world coming to?

It's official. Hollywood's think tank has officially run dry. Shame on you Hollywood. Let's cross our fingers that this remake gets stuck in development hell and never reaches the light of day.